Life's Mysteries: The Female Mind
By Darrell Martel

The female mind; what else can cause so much controversy but provide so much humor, so much joy yet so much pain? Few things compare to the complexity of women’s consciousness. I’m going to warn you, what I have to write about, I’ve learned strictly from experience. I’ve never been the character of some crazy Mel Gibson film where I can hear what woman think or a Rob Schneider flick where suddenly my brain is in a women’s body… and thank goodness because I bet pantyhose are extremely itchy, and I don’t like itchy. From here on out the following information is strictly hypothetical, but all based on vast amounts of experience in dealing with the opposite sex.

To fully understand the female mind we must first take a look at what makes it tick. In general, they like to feel warm and happy on the inside, they enjoy stability, assurance and confidence that what they are doing is right. Thus the majority of their decisions are based on these feelings of security and all around ‘feel-goodness’. For instance, this is why a girl would rather watch Return to me rather than say, Terminator 3. The world ending in nuclear winter just doesn’t leave them warm and happy on the inside. This would also explain why a girl would rather date a contractor with a law degree, rather than a college drop out working at a fish restaurant. The feeling of security needs to be fulfilled.

Now that we understand the driving force behind the girl, we can understand more clearly how girls communicate. One way in which they communicate is the “I said it but I don’t mean it” technique. Girls often pull this one on us guys, and we need to be on the look out for it.

Provided is an example:

Me: Hey do you mind if I finish up my game before we head out?
Girl: No, go ahead, I just can’t be out very late… that’s all (girl folds her arms and looks away)
Me: Great, thanks!

Note that she clearly doesn’t want me to finish my game. She would much rather leave now then wait the extra 15 minutes. However she can’t tell me “No” straight up because this violates the “feel-goodness” law. The feel-goodness law states that her response must directly reflect a good feeling to others and to herself even though in reality, she might not be feeling good at all. Basically, she would feel guilty if she had made me leave my game early thus, not a good feeling. She also knows that I will hold some resentment for making me leave early and this also produces bad feelings. So even though she clearly wants me to stop gaming and pay attention to her, she will continue to let me play based on the feel-goodness law. To put it simply, she doesn’t want me to know that staying and finishing my game does not make her feel good, because she wants to make me feel good. (Got it? Good.)

A girl’s ultimate goal is to produce good feelings not only within herself but within all accompanying parties. This is accomplished when the female states her feelings and all accompanying parties agree or share the same warm fuzzy feel-goodness. However, conflict often arises when the feel-good law is in violation. This is when the female is sad, hurt, in disagreement or maybe even annoyed. There are generally two routes one can take when a violation of the feel good law exists. They are as follows:

a.) recognize that the feel-good law is in violation and do what needs to be done to bring the girl back to harmony and stability (In this case quit playing the game)

or

b.) ignore the violation and proceed to break the feel goodness law in order to accomplish your goal. (continuing to play games)


If the violation is ignored the female tends to become unstable and usually starts stating things like “You never pay attention to me anymore” or “We never have quality time together anymore” which nine times out of ten are blatant lies.. but alas the warm fuzzies have left causing a low in emotional feel-goodness and thus instability. Generally I try to avoid option b unless I am feeling extremely patient that day.

Now when the female is in violation of the feel-goodness law for extended periods of time, she loses a lot of self confidence and begins to question herself (so be sure not too choose option b all the time). This I think is why so many girls may very well be insane. Insecurity arises and they act on things that will give them the temporary feel-good, thinking of short term rather than long term. For example when a girl gets a guy to kiss her she feels good about herself in the moment. She doesn’t really stop to ask herself why the boy is kissing her. I’m willing to bet if she did, it would certainly violate the feel good law and she wouldn’t go through with it.

What this all boils down to is that the reason the female mind is so emotional is because it is constantly searching for that feel-goodness. That warm fuzzy “everything is perfect” feeling. In its constant search for the fuzzy feelings it reaches extreme peaks of highs and lows that in turn produce crazy, unpredictable outbursts of joy and sadness. The best bet to get the female mind to remain stable is to constantly feed it with that warm fuzzy feeling. Showering a girl with compliments, compromise and being an all around nice guy will highly increase stability within the female mind. Be careful to remain sincere in feeding the fuzzy feelings, if not this could cause a low and in turn, instability… and trust me, we don’t want instability.

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Hopefully this unravels a little bit of one of the world's greatest mysteries.

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If you enjoyed this article, you may also enjoy the following:

The Signals - Darrell Martel

How to be smooth: A guide on being smooth - Darrell Martel

How to keep the girl - Darrell Martel

Setting the rules - Darrell Martel

The Art of Making Out - Darrell Martel

Girl thought, Guy thought - Darrell Martel

Proof that girls are evil - Erin Sasseville, Erin also has a book in progress.





  posted by Darrell @ 2:07 AM