Often at Newicks when its a holiday and we're all stuck working we'll get sandwhiches and whoopie pies for all the cooks to enjoy and what not. For the superbowl we got tacos and nachos and some cold cuts, and for mothers day and the such we usually get little sandwhiches. Well the roast beef that they order is simply amazing. If there is a package of roast beef at newicks left over from a holiday, I can have anywhere from 3-4 sandwhiches a day with that stuff, it is simply amazing. This one time I made a roast beef sandwhich and set it down to go clean something or cook something or whatever, I came back and it was gone. I was pretty ticked off because, hey, thats my roast beef sandwhich and no one, let me tell you NO ONE messes with my roast beef sandwhich. I turn the corner to see Chris swallowing something in a hurry. I asked him if he ate my sandwhich, which he quickly denied. I then asked well where did it go then? To which he responded he threw it away because he thought it was Dans. Oh, that makes sense. I came to the conclusion that Chris really did eat my sandwhich but only because he thought it was Dans. I confronted him with this and he told me the truth, made me a new sandwhich and justice was served. I got to eat my glorious roast beef, Chris' concious was clear and we still make fun of Dan and throw away his crap all the time.

Anyways, we did order some cold cuts for the superbowl. My mouth watered as I saw the precious package of roast beef that my taste buds have come to love so much. I told myself that this is superbowl sunday, the patriots are about to win, again and I am about to eat the best sandwhich known to man, what a great day to be alive. I started off with some bread, not just any bread, no no.. I needed the high quality stuff, the stuff you actually have to slice! Oh yea, thats the stuff. I sliced it carefully, making sure each side was perfectly even because well, this was going to be the perfect sandwhich for the perfect day. I gently placed my sliced bread in the toaster to brown it slightly. While it was toasting I found the freshest tomato in the joint and proceeded to carefully cut a not-to-thin-not-to-thick tomato slice. I chopped the lettuce into thin strans making sure it was green and crisp, not brown and yellow like that chunky crap you'd get in a packaged sandwhich at the 7-11. My bread was finished toasting, I placed the lettuce on the roll, weighed it down with the tomato, and put two perfectly circular onions on top. I placed two slices of cheese on my garnish, and I even dug out the grey poupon mustard. I placed the top piece of my roll on my sandwhich and took a step back. Perfection. I had not seen such a perfect sandwhich in all my years as a cook. My mouth watering, I grabbed a hold of the beautiful piece of artwork and sank my teeth in. Oh it tasted so good. I swallowed my first bite and savored it for a moment.

"This is the best roast beef ever" I said. I looked up, no one was around they were all watching the game.

Taking my second bite something clicked. As I chomped down I realized that something was missing. This was not tasting like 'The perfect Sandwhich' should be. It needed something more. I set it down for a second and thought. Everything was portioned correctly, spread evenly, cut finely... but still.... something was missing. I looked up, scanned around the kitchen the boys were huddled around the tv, the printers were quiet and the waitresses loud and annoying. Then I saw it, to the left of the cutting board. The unopened package of roast beef. Looking around quickly, I grabbed the roast beef and shoved it into my sandwhich. Hoping no one would see that my sandwhich had two bites out of it, but no meat in it. Luckily no one did.

I brought it over to the guys. "This is the best roast beef ever" I said.

"Yeah thats good stuff" they replied.

  posted by Darrell @ 10:57 PM