With each new month here at gibbering comes a new article of me ranting about relationships. This month I've decided to write about something thats been bothering me as of late. What's that you ask? PDA. I'm not talking palm pilots here. I'm talking public displays of affection, I'm talking watching two of your friends play tongue twister as you stare awkwardly at the tv screen and pretend not to see them.. Let's get things straight, there is time and a place for groping, kissing, wrestling......dry humping (Or Christian sex as my friends like to call it)...... whatever. And I'll give you a hint, it's definatley not in front of your friends. There is nothing more awkward than trying to watch a movie but the couple on the 'other' couch keep moving and making funny sounds.. you look over only to see them sucking face harder then a little kid trying to get the last lick out of his push pop. Don't get me wrong now, there are many perfectly acceptable forms of PDA. Unfortunatley there are also many unacceptable forms of PDA. I have complied an easy to follow guide on the acceptable forms and uses of various body parts, there functions, and acceptable PDA. It is as follows:

Acceptable uses of PDA:

Kissing:

Necks should be off limits when in public
Cheek kisses are acceptable
lip to lip is acceptable as long as no tongue is involved

Various body parts:

Hands are for holding, not groping
Butts are for sitting, not pinching, slapping or grabbing
Tongues are for talking, not tangling

Unacceptable PDA:

Groping - guys, there is a time and a place for feeling your girl up, in front of friends is not one of them.
Wrestling - I don't even like to watch it on TV, why on earth would I want to watch my friend and his girl toss each other around?
Making out - I was watching the waves crash on the beach one friday when suddenly I hear some awkward slurping noises, looking over I see two heads covered by one hood.. Ah yes, nothing more descrete then a couple trying to hide their makeout session under a hoodie.
Stupid pet names - This just gets sick and annoying. Let's limit the pet names while in public kiddos.


To sum up let's use this general rule as a guide to pda: If You can't legally show it in public, you shouldn't touch it in public. Now don't percieve me as some PDA nazi or some over concerned youth group leader trying to enforce a 'no touching' rule. I think touching can be fine and cute when done correctly. Let's face the facts, there are definatley cute couples that we don't mind being with, However there are also gross couples who just seem to make everything awkward by trying to accomplish their life goal of making out anywhere and everywhere possible. Another simple pda rule to go by is if you wouldn't do it in front of your parents, don't do it in front of your friends. It's just that simple. For the comfort of others, please try to restrain yourselves!

  posted by Darrell @ 4:13 PM