In the past months I've taught the boys here on gibbering how to ask a girl out, how to treat a girl, how to make out with a girl and other valuable data that should increase your love life twofold. This month I've decided to delve into the minds of both the boy and the girl and will explain what goes on in their heads when certain situations arise.

The Situation:
Billy is taking Jane on a typical date, dinner, movie, then back home. Billy is on his way to pick up Jane, the date is scheduled for 6pm eastern standard time. It is 6:10 and Billy has yet to arrive.

What Jane is thinking:
Did he stand me up? I knew that jerk would.. wait, maybe he got in a wreck? I hope he's okay. What if he got pulled over? maybe he's a bad boy. I kinda like that in a guy. I don't think dad would though. Maybe he thinks its cool to be fashionably late? it is cool to do that, I guess. Maybe not on a first date though. Ugh why isn't he here yet!

What Billy is thinking:
This song is awesome. this is her road.... which ones hers? I knew I shouldve wrote down her house number..

The Situation:
Billy and Jane meet, they walk out to the car.

What Jane is thinking:
I wonder if he'll open the door for me. That'd be sooo sweet. Maybe thats not his thing though, it is kind of old... He seems nice. I hope his car doesn't smell. I like the color. I wonder if he likes what i'm wearing, it only took me two hours... I hope my make up is okay. I should check it when I get in the car. I need a hair clip..

What Billy is thinking:
Wow shes hot, I hope she digs my rims... spent a lot of money on those. oh, I should probably get the door for her, chicks dig that.

The Situation:
Billy and Jane are eating dinner

What Jane is thinking:
I wonder if he is paying for dinner or if we are going dutch. I hope he pays, that would be sweet of him. Now let's see, I shouldnt get anything green or anything that would get stuck in my teeth... or anything with red sauce that'd be an accident waiting to happen. No onions, don't want bad breath, how embarassing! Maybe a salad? I wonder if he thinks I'm fat. I do look kind of chunky in this outfit. I hate my hips. I should go to the bathroom and make sure I look good. Will he think thats rude? I hope not, I just need to check my make up again. I wonder what kind of dressing I should get with my salad. He'll think I'm a pig if I get ranch. Or even if I eat too much. I'll get a diet pepsi, that will equal it out.

What Billy is thinking:
Man, I am SO freakin hungry right now. ...I hope I have enough money to pay for dinner, and enough gas to get to the theater. Oh man, that would suck.

The Situation:
Billy and Jane are at the movies:

What Jane is thinking:
I wonder if he'll put his arm around me.... maybe if I nudge him a few times. No, that will seem too forward. If I just sit here and look pretty, that should do it. I wonder if he likes me. I hope I dont have anything in my teeth. I should check my make up again. My hair is so messy right now. ugh. he's pretty cute. I don't like his last name though, I dont think I could marry him. I could learn to deal I suppose. Oh gross, he's got mustard on his pants... thats kind of cute in a boyish way though, hehe.

What Billy is thinking:
That alien looks so fake this movie's CGI sucks... oh, hope she doesnt notice the mustard on my pants.

The Situation:
Billy is dropping off Jane

What Jane is thinking:
I wonder if he'll kiss me? will I look like a slut if I use tongue? what if he doesn't kiss me? what should I do? a hug at the least, he did buy me dinner. I hope my parents are asleep. My hair is still messed up, ugh. What if I have bad breath, what if HE has bad breath? I hope I dont make an ugly face! What if he's a bad kisser? what if he's never kissed anyone?? Where should I put my hands? IF he doesnt kiss me does that mean he doesnt like me??

What Bill is thinking:
I wonder if I can get a kiss. Thatd be sweet. Especially with some tongue.

The Situation:
They kiss

What Jane is thinking:
I wonder what our kids will look like..

What Bill is thinking:
Gotta get home soon, patriots are on.





  posted by Darrell @ 10:35 PM