The Rules of Internet personality:
By Darrell Martel

The Internet is quite possibly the most useful tool we have at our fingertips as of right now. Besides of course things like.. can openers... and well I don't know... light switches. Anyways, with such a vast... web, and with programs such as AIM, YAHOO, and MSN one can create a sort of online persona if you will, with this persona comes certain unwritten rules that one must follow in order to be considered a proffesional internet talker person... I have taken the liberty to write these unwritten rules for you. So Now they are well... written rules. So without further annoying introduction, here they are. In no particular order.

1.) Remember, you are always better than the person you are talking to... in every aspect of life and in all you do. You are #1, there is no stopping you champ. You are a god among men behind your computer screen. This is the golden rule. All rules will somehow relate to this one.

2.) If someone sends you a link to a website, funny cartoon, funny picture, funny sound.. ANYTHING. If it's a link someone is sending you, youre response should be one of the following.

"Yeah I saw that like a year ago"
"Ugh I hate how that is getting so popular now"
"Why would you send me that, its stupid."

3.) The first thing you do when signing on is read everyones away message. Then comment on the stupidness of said away message.

4.) Create a live journal... where you cry about everyone and everything possible, So that people will feel sorry for you. But always leave the end of the entry about how you overcame such bad times and how youre never going to let it bother you. Always link to your journal within your aim profile

5.) If You have a boyfriend or girlfriend your profile on instant messenger should reflect your love for said companion. If you don't it should be one of the following:

1.) A excerpt of a funny conversation you had with a friend where you said something witty.
2.) A emo sentence or two about how the world hates you, girls hate you ... or how confused you are at life.

6.) You are too good for the generic AIM smiles. You must be creative enough to come up with your own variety of smile faces.


7.) Whenever youre feeling a little "less than" when talking to someone... use the "k thx" quote. It makes you look like a big man and it sure shuts up the other party.

8.) Never use a generic away message. Always be creative, witty or informative in your awayness.


Thats all I could come up with. Let's see what other rules you fools can scrounge up. I'll compile a list and make a super rule list. And then ... we'll post them on the internet. So that everyone is well informed about....the rules..... of the internet.

......I hate this post. its late.... leave me alone.


  posted by Darrell @ 2:36 AM