Today in my Inklings class (20th century brit lit) my stomach started grumbling... and then I felt it. That cramp that says "you have to poop, and you have to poop now!". But it was too late, class had already started. I fought with my stomach, twisting and turning. It pummeled me with gasses and cramps and knots and twists. I crunched my stomach and flexed and adjusted my seat to counter-act the abuse my tummy was pummeling me with. Matt looked over at me and asked if I was alright. I nodded and told him my stomach hurts. The pain continued. I didn't want to get up and go. I was in the way back of the classroom and to go I wouldve had to get up, walk down the stairs right down the middle of the row in front of everyone, including the proffessor. My shyness hindered me and I'm sure he would've made some sarcastic comment like "Well even Hobbits have to go to the bathroom!" or something to that matter. So I wrestled onward with my stomach. Occasionally a bubble would burst and the pain subside, but not very often.

After what seemed like an eternity class got over. I hustled back to the dorm room to drop off this pent up rage. As I entered my room I had a visual on my toilet. Now I'm not sure why it is but for some reason when you get the actual toilet in your line of sight it makes you have to go 10x worse. I bolted for the bathroom as my bowels started surging forth. The belt tangled and in a frenzy I just yanked my pants down and finally let go. The demon i had been sitting on all class period was now released. It was bad. It almost reminded me of that scene in Dumb and Dumber. Whats worse is I think JBC is trying to conserve water or something because all the toilet water levels are extremely low, which just makes it smell that much worse. It also causes streaks when you flush. Nothings more gross than letting a nasty poo flush and just watching it trail like a slug down the toilet. Not to mention the JBC food makes your Poo mushy. I think i've only had one normal poop since I've been here. Tonight however I'm having a nice home cooked meal. I will pray for a normal poop.


  posted by Darrell @ 4:53 PM